Struggling today……

Addi has basically slept for two days now except when she wakes up and is crying.   Her oxygen level is ok but her heart rate and respiration rate is high.  Her breathing becomes shallow at times but they are monitoring her closely.  Just when she starts getting better something else happens.  It is the most helpless, heart wrenching feeling imaginable.  She is 2 so she can’t really verbalize what she is feeling or why she is screaming and crying.  It is just awful.

No one can really tell me why they think she is sleeping so much but I keep pushing to get some answers.  They are concerned as well and are trying to cover all their basis with tests.  Yes, she is tired and has had a lot going on but I know her an I can tell when something isn’t right especially when she went from sitting up in bed, communicating with me, watching TV and letting me read to her to just sleeping again and in pain.  She went for CT this morning and the doctors just came in to tell me the news.  Her first words were….”when we went down to go over the CT with the radiologist she immediately told us these lungs are not good.”  She has pulmonary edema which basically is fluid in the lungs and a good bit of fluid.  Along with pulmonary edema she has an enlarged spleen, obstruction and some things going on in the bowel and stomach.

I am struggling today.  Every time Addi takes one step forward she takes two steps back.  I know this is where my faith has to become action but days like today make it is just hard to understand!  Today I have sat here by her bed watching her…..one minute breathing very shallow and fast to the next minute she’s crying and can’t get comfortable in pain.  I have to admit that I am not handling things very well today and just need God to intervene.  I have sat here and just cried today. I have prayed over her time and time again today and begged God to please intervene once again.  He has performed miracles for Addi up to this point and she has come a long way.  I am not discrediting anything that God has already done because it is a miracle that she is here….I am just begging God to completely heal her.  It is SO HARD to sit here day after day seeing what she is going through and not being able to help her but I know that miracles don’t always come quickly and my faith has to stand firm on His promises. When you are in the middle of the storm sometimes it is hard to find that rainbow but it is coming!

Please continue to pray for Addi.  Please pray that the doctors will have the wisdom and knowledge to do what is necessary to get Addi better and able to function like an active 2 year old girl is supposed to.  I appreciate every prayer being said for my precious girl and I ask that you say a few extra ones for her tonight.  She needs another breakthrough!

I am so, so sorry I have not answered all the hundreds of emails.  When Addi is sleeping and I am not busy I am trying to answer some of them but there are just so many.  Many of those questions are regarding address, how to order t-shirts and how to help.  We need your prayers and that is what we ask of you please.

If you would like to purchase follow the links below. There are 4 links so you have to go to each link to see the different pieces.