BOUNDARIES ARE AN ACT OF LOVE
Boundaries….something we all need to learn but we all have an issue with when it comes to people we love. I personally understand this and have struggled all my life setting boundaries and not letting the problems and sins of others affect my life. I have always been one that took on whatever issues that were presented to me and tried to “fix” everything. It has caused me much difficulty in life and put more stress on me than I needed or should have allowed but not anymore. God has set me free and shown me boundaries are of HIM, for my loved one and for ME!
Many times, we refuse to set certain boundaries with family or friends because we do not want to see them hurt and feel that we can help them. We feel that if we get involved we can get between them and the natural consequences of their own bad choices in our efforts to protect and help them. Unfortunately, we are doing the opposite of protecting or helping. Instead we are enabling the very sin or bad choices that we want them out of. When you love someone, you don’t participate or enable sin. Maybe it’s not even sin but bad habits, poor choices or laziness.
The Bible teaches us that we should keep clear boundaries and not be party to the things/sin that do not please God. Yes, it is difficult to sit and watch the consequences and misery that follows disobedience to fall on the ones we love, but when we refuse to follow the example of boundaries that the Bible has set for us, we are actually mocking the justice of God!
You see, when we try to step in the way, we are purposely stopping the Godly sorrow that could lead that person to repentance. We have to get out of Gods way and have the strength to let those who choose to remain outside of Gods will, reap the very consequences of their bad choices and sin. When you do this, you can remain safe within your wall of boundaries.
We have to set these boundaries so that God can work in the hearts and lives of those we love but we also have to set those boundaries to protect ourselves. Yes, when you enforce Biblical boundaries you are most likely going to hurt people you love. You have to realize; YOU are not hurting them by setting boundaries….it is their own sin that is hurting them. You can’t continue to be disobedient to God by getting in His way and let them stand accountable for their own actions. You must set these boundaries to also protect yourself from the consequences of their sins and allow God to lead them to Godly sorrow which in turn leads to repentance!
We have to learn sometimes the hard way to let God be God and lay our loved ones at HIS feet without trying to “Help” God! We have to pray, trust, and believe that God will do what only He can do in their lives then set those boundaries and be strong. We just have to pray and believe that He will keep our hearts and minds at peace as we wait. We can’t do that when we keep running and fixing the sin that God wants him/her to repent from! We love deeply but you know what, God loves that person more than we do and He is more concerned about their eternal salvation than being comfortable. Sometimes a person has to get to the very bottom of the pit before they will look up and cry out to God for help. Stop being the rescuer! Stop digging them out of the pit. Instead, set those boundaries so God can rescue and SAVE! Rise up and put your faith in God and allow Him to be God in their lives as we protect our hearts and minds from their bad choices and sin. Boundaries are an act of LOVE.
Dear Heavenly Father I come to you today and I lay my loved one at your feet and I ask you to bring them to repentance. I ask you to help me set those boundaries so that YOU can work in their life so that they will be saved from their sin and set free from this life that has bound them for so long. It is hard for me to walk away and not help in my own way, but I ask you to help me do that so that they may cry out to you for help. Give me strength to let you work in their lives even if it hurts and that means their suffering. I ask that you deal with their hearts so that they will repent and be saved. Lord help me to let go of the control in relationships and help me to trust and accept your perfect will for their lives as I set boundaries. In Jesus name I pray ~ Amen!
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”
“A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; For if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.”
1 John 2:15-16
“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.”
When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him [John]?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”