SEPTEMBER……Childhood Cancer Awareness Month


I will admit, before Addi’s diagnosis I never supported childhood cancer research and I did not do anything to bring awareness.  I saw the posts of the kids going through treatment, I cried tears for the families and children and I definitely prayed for them but financially support…NO, bring awareness, NO!  Why don’t we support…..because we never imagine it could happen to our child, grandchild, niece, nephew, cousin or friend!  Well, I never in a million years thought it would be my Addi!  She was a picture of perfect health and things just didn’t happen like this in our family.  I saw other families go through this terrible life changing diagnosis but never in my own family.  Well that all changed on August 19, 2018 when our world changed with that one word….CANCER!   From now on there will be the possibility of more cancer, more treatment and yes, even Addi’s death.  That is a hard one to even think about or say out loud and yes even type but it is just our reality.  The reality is that this cancer has a high probability of returning and could take our precious Addi’s life.  NO, I do not like saying it, typing it or thinking about it but it is our reality and it is always right there sitting in my mind.  I can’t fathom my life or this world with my precious Addi in it giving us all so much joy and happiness.  My faith in God has given me the HOPE that she will live a long, healthy life and that is what we cling to daily.  I really try not to let my mind even wander to the reality of cancer.  We just cling to our faith and hope!  I have had to come to a new place about Addi’s cancer and just know that Addi’s life is in HIS hands and there is truly nothing we can do but pray and get her the BEST possible care we can with the BEST possible treatment available.  I believe we are doing that. 

BUT WAIT…..I should not have to be thinking this way!  No parent should have to be thinking about these things for their child.  Addi should not have endured 13 months of grueling treatment. with more to come……she should be in pre-school right now, playing on the playground, going swimming and doing all the things other 3 year old children are doing but instead she is spending her days in a hospital or at home because she can’t be exposed to so many germs and because she wears a central line in her chest! We must find a CURE!  These babies depend on us!  If we can send a man to the moon then we should have a cure for cancer!!!  

I have watched Addi suffer more than a child should ever have to suffer.  She has been through more procedures, been put to sleep, had more chemo, radiation, immunotherapy pushed through her body than she should ever have to experience.  She almost lost her life due to the side effects of this horrible toxins that were pumped through her body to try and kill this beast called cancer.   I have seen the children who are bald with rashes all over their bodies, who are pale with brown circles under their tired eyes, who are thin from not eating or bloated from the steroids, walking the halls attached to an IV pole with tubes coming out of every orifice of their body. You see their pain as they just want a normal life free from the cancer like other kids their age.