DEVOTIONAL….Riding the waves of Grief

DEVOTIONAL….Riding the waves of Grief


Grief——I could right an entire book about grief.  In my life, I have lost many.  I lost my precious daddy and stepmother, my cousin who I loved dearly, other family members and friends and most recently my baby sister who was only 28 years old.  My grief has been deep and at times I couldn’t breath when the realization that she was gone hit me.  After her death in 2014, I began to sink deeper and deeper into a pit of depression.  I sat and cried all the time and distanced myself from as many people as I could.  I grieved her loss but I also grieved what would never be….the wedding, children, the degree she had worked so hard for and us growing old together.  I have never wanted to end my life but about a year after she died, as I was driving home, the grief overcame me.  I missed her so bad that I physically hurt and I did not want to feel the pain of her loss any longer.  At that moment I thought….if I drive really fast and run off the road and hit a tree and die no one will ever know I did it purposely and will just think I wrecked in this horrible storm.
The feeling was so strong that I began crying out to God to help me and begged Him to rescue me and take this pain.  I got to my house and just sat in my car crying.  I began to pray and really poured my heart out to God.  During this time I released my pain, anger and hopelessness to God and asked Him to give me inner peace. On that day God began doing something new in me and brought peace to my brokenness.  He rescued me at a time I did not want to go on with life and He began restoring my life that day.   Have you ever been in a place where you were so devastated, depressed and lost that you did not know how you could go on?  Well, God can restore you but it takes time and choosing joy daily.  I prayed and asked God to take the feelings of hopelessness, depression and loneliness from my life….and He did.  For so long, I had wanted to be in the pit because that is where I thought I should be because my baby sister was gone and the pit felt better than the reality of life without her but God will give us peace over any situation if we ask and receive it. It takes time, effort and daily prayer but God will see you through the devastation of loss, He will rescue you from the pit of despair and depression and He will restore your joy.  I had to choose daily to go before Him and let Him give me peace and joy.  The enemy will come during these times when you are weak and vulnerable to kill, steal and destroy, if you will let him.  He will let you self destruct and become a person that you don’t even know…..That is the Enemy’s purpose.  John 10:10 “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
I tell you all of this to let you know that God and God alone can help you through a loss, a tragedy or any circumstance so strong you feel you can’t breath and no longer want to live.  He will bring you out of the pit of depression, anger, loneliness and guilt. I had distanced myself from God, everyone I knew and was trying to deal with my grief on my own.  I could not make it through this any longer without God because without Him I was lost and in a place of destruction and loneliness I did not want to be any longer.  I needed Him to bring me peace, restore my joy and give my life back.  It was hard to release it all to Him and accept peace but God wants us to live a full life even after great loss.  God does not want us to live a life depressed and anxious where our circumstances have stolen our joy and the life of purpose He has for us.
A few things God showed me and helped me realize during this long journey of grief…. It is ok to grieve but it can’t be in a destructive way.  You must lean on God and let Him comfort you. Psalm 107: 6 “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.”  Feel – you have to feel the pain and learn to cope.  As hard as it is, you have to feel the emotions of grief.  You can’t mask the pain by taking pills, drinking, eating or ignoring it.  As hard as it is you have to deal with the plethora of emotions you will experience.  That might mean you need to talk with a counselor, pastor or join a support group.  Most importantly you must lean on God for your comfort and peace. It is true what they say; you will go through stages of grief but how you handle each stage depends on your walk with God and if you are depending on Him for your strength and help.  He can and will give you joy, happiness and peace even after tragedy or great loss.  Psalm 30: 5 “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Let go of the anger….the anger you have toward God, toward the circumstances and anyone involved so that your heart can have peace and heal. It is important to note that grief IS a part of the process to healing but HOW we grieve is important as to how we overcome the emotional turmoil that grief can bring.
Grief is like walking out into the ocean….one minute you are standing and the waters are calm and you are on solid ground….then all of a sudden, out of nowhere a huge wave comes and knocks you under water and you feel like you are drowning.  What you have to do is to ride the waves….you can’t fight it, you can’t let the waves overcome you but instead you just have to ride the waves of emotion and ride it out until you are safely at shore.  God will rescue you when you feel you are drowning but you just have to give it to Him and let Him be your peace, your joy, your comfort and your rescuer as you ride the waves of grief.
God finally brought me to a place that I celebrate Christa’s life instead of mourning her death.  She is in Heaven and she belonged to God.  He loaned her to us for 28 years and for that we are thankful.  One day we will be reunited and I will forever cherish our memories until I see her again.  I miss her everyday, I still cry for my sister I miss so deeply, life will never be the same and there will always be this gaping hole that she left in my heart but knowing that she accepted Jesus gives me peace and a hope that will get me through this life until I take my last breath and join her for eternity.
Have you accepted Him into your heart?  Do you know where you will spend eternity?
If you think you have plenty of time to make amends with loved ones, to get your life right, to say I am sorry or to say I love you, then let me tell you….in just one second in time your entire life can change and you may not have that chance so….get your life right now and ask Jesus to take control of your life, forgive even when you are not wrong, love unconditionally with no constraints, accept others just as they are and never take one day for granted.  Take the pictures, make the memories, live in the moment and make a difference in this world and in someones life.  There is only one you, one life, one chance, so live in Gods peace and presence now and for eternity.  My sister left that morning to go to work and never in my wildest dreams did I think on her way to my house that night, she would wreck and lose her life.
For those who are grieving a loved one, a divorce, loss of a friendship, loss of a job or any other type of loss, God will rescue you and give you peace…..just look up and cry out to Him!  Give it all to Him…..He is right there waiting patiently on you to accept His everlasting peace, His love, His grace and His mercy. Are you ready to lay your grief and brokenness at His feet and leave it there so you can live out God’s plan and purpose in your life with joy and peace?  God has a plan for us and that includes a future and hope even when our hopes, dreams and desires are shattered and we can’t see past our overwhelming loss.  Receive God’s comfort today as He envelops you in His peace and love.
Prayer when grieving:
God I come to right now with a heavy heart and lay my grief and pain at your feet.  I ask you to heal my broken heart right now as you repair my brokenness.  I ask you to bring peace where there is despair, I ask you to give me joy where there is so much pain and I ask you to deliver me from the pit of depression and give me hope of a better future.  Show me more of your love and grace and help me accept whatever you want to do in my heart and to trust that you are at work and give me joy even as I grieve.
Bible Verses to help you through grief
Psalm 34:17-19
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.
Phillipians 4:7
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you.
Revelation 21:4
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

Written in loving memory of Christa, Matt, Granny Webb, Daddy and Jeraline just to name a few that I miss so much!


31 thoughts on “DEVOTIONAL….Riding the waves of Grief

  1. I lost my Mother on November 1st and this is exactly how I feel! I pray everyday for peace but sometimes get inpatient it's only been 16 weeks today I know I have a long road ahead of me. I enjoyed reading your encouragement and love your strength and faith you have in God. I will keep Addi in my prayers and if you don't mind please say a prayer for me.

  2. I too love your encouragement. I lost my precious sister 5 years ago to MS. We were so very close. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. I miss her terribly. I am now the caregiver to my beloved husband. He is at end stage renal failure and on dialysis. It is so hard to see him go through this. God is my strength. I don’t know what I would do without His hands on us. In the midst of my husband’s dialysis journey I have found out that I’m not going crazy. I’m experiencing Anticipatory Grief. Yes there is such a thing. Belong to a group for it. Has helped me a lot. Prayers for you my dear.

  3. Always have loved Revelations 21:4…….thank you . Just lost a very dear friend who went with our missions team to Cuba one week before he passed into Glory. So thankful for the promise of HEAVEN,,,,What a day that will be when my JESUS I shall see 🙂 Well done thy "good & faithful" servant…….

  4. I am so sorry for your lost. GOD BLESS YOU. I love this, thanks for sharing. My mother, son, husband, dad, 2 brothers, and more are in HEAVEN. This has really helped me. I am really caught up in grief, and depression. I plan to read this often, thank you!

  5. I really enjoyed your devotional for today. In 1997 we lost our son in an auto accident. He was an up coming senior at The Citadel and had such a wonderful life in front of him. God was the only thing that saved me from the darkest of grief and I thank him each day for the opportunity to be Brent's Mom and be able to experience the joy that he brought to our lives. Memories are a gift from God that allow us to hold them close to our heart.

  6. I lost my 13 year old grandson it will be 4 years this Easter Sunday to suicide. This message has helped me so much and I want to thank you for all the your devotions.

  7. I totally understand what you are saying. In 2004, my sister was murdered. It was the single hardest day of my life. Not only was the grief of losing her a huge burden, but the hate I was carrying around for the person that killed her made it that much heavier. It took me five years but God relentlessly tugged on my heart letting me know that He loved me more than anything … but I wasn't the only one that Jesus died for. And there was no more pain and suffering than what He went through. I remember the day that I was finally able to let go of the hate and to be able to forgive. It was the day I felt like I could start living again. My sister gave her life to Christ 18 weeks before she was killed. That realization took my breath away. I'm thankful that I nagged her into going to church one night … the night she made that decision to live for Christ. Life is short and yes, horrible things can happen to you. But when you die, it's to late to make a decision. Thank you for sharing your story.

  8. Thank you! I will read this many times. My heart still hurts for my loved ones. I thank God for his Grace. God Bless You.

  9. Thank you. I'm missing my son John today. He took his life by hanging April 16, 2016. As the 4th year of his death date approaches, my heart hurts more and memories of finding his body flood back. He was 32. Noone had any idea he would do what he did. I too pray for joy to return and hope in Jesus for seeing him in Heaven one day.

  10. Your writing about your loss and despair really hit home with me. You have to trust God in these times but sometimes it is so hard. Thank you again for your Friday devotionals.

  11. Dear LaLa, you indeed should write a book, this devotional was so inspirational, what a Blessing to be able to share your personal experiences with so many. I pray for Addi, and all your family everyday. All Glory To God !!

  12. That was so heartfelt. I honestly could have written almost the same thing. You have touched many hearts today, I am sure. I have led some grief classes and everything you wrote is so true. Thank you for encouraging so many people. Someday I might just write my own story! Love to you!

  13. Thank you for this devotion. You are strong and have been through much. Although I lost my Daddy at age 16 and my Mama as an adult, that has not depressed me as much as being estranged from my son. I stay depressed and long to see him and my grandchildren but he has no desire. I know there is always hope with God but, but it is difficult to see beyond the hurt. You have received Addi who you are so good with and for. I know she has given you Joy and pray she always will. Much love Lala. 🙏🙏🙏❤️

  14. Leanne, thank you for sharing this part of your life and your wonderful devotion to God. This writing is so powerful. With God anything is possible.

  15. Lala, thank you for sharing from your heart ! So Thankful God has gifted you with a desire to share his word of Love,Joy,Peace with others ! You are such an Inspiration!
    Continued Prayers for sweet Addi & family so glad you all have a break from traveling till march 23rd.
    Praying for NED !🙏❤✝️🥰🙅‍♀️

  16. Lala your strength and relationship with God is amazing. Thank you for sharing. Continued prayers for that sweet Princess Addie and your family. God Bless you!

  17. Thank you very much for this! I am still dealing with the loss of my best friend/husband of 28 years. Many events that led up to his passing i just cannot deal with nor accept. Its a daily battle not to be sad and/or mad. He had a double lung transplant on 12/11/2015 and another double lung transplant 5 days later because first set would not work. He fought so hard to live and went thru so much. Way more than any individual should have to. He was only 47 years old when he passed. I just taking one day at a time. Thank you for the encouraging words. They make me want to do better and to be happy once again.

  18. I lost a 2 yr old daughter,I had those very thoughts ,but I had been raised in the church and knew not to do that .But I hurt so bad I couldn't I couldn't stand. One knight It as I went to bed it hit me that, that day had been her Birthday and I started crying as quietly, as I could as not to wake my husband,but he heard me and woke up an dask what was wrong was it something he had done and I told him no It was Kim's Birthday ,He turned over held me and cried with me( he was not her father),That nite God gave me piece.

  19. I just lost my Daddy last Saturday. I lost my Mom 14 years ago. You explained it very well. I don't know that I could do this without God in my life. Blessings on your journey

  20. Isaiah 57:1 "Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come." This verse helped me so much after my husband was killed in a work accident.( he fell into a vat of scalding water and live 13 days)

  21. Thank you so much for showing your scars, and pointing to Jesus in these times so others may come to know Him and the peace that only He can give. I was in a similar place when I lost my 26 year old niece passed away. She was like my child,(my sisters child but we were so close) that I felt as though I wouldn't ever live through the pain of her loss, and the way her life ended. Also, the sorrow I felt for her mother, my sister only made it harder. It was only after about a year, I couldn't take it any longer, I turned to God got out my hurt and anger and I took began to feel Gods love and peace slowly started to heal me. I lost a sister years later, and felt Gods love holding during that pain also. I agree, God is the only one that can bring healing, to our soul, in any circumstances of life and I'm so thankful for His love, grace and mercy without Him I am nothing����

  22. Thank you for sharing. It is so important to share experiences to help other. Peayi g makes me feel whole. God Bless you and your damily and especially that Sweet Adorable Addi.

  23. LaLa I completely understand. I lost my sister Dec. 10, 1991 to murder. She was 20 years old. I dealt with that a long time, and still do. I had a complete mental breakdown in 2001. I wanted to run into trees for a long time, along with other things. God saved me in 2003 with my niece, she is my guardian angel. I'm not sure where I'd be now if God hadn't sent her. I had my faith and God, but he knew I needed more. I'm still on low dose of medications that the doctors feel I will need the rest of my life, but if that's what God feels I need then I will do it. Thank you so much for sharing. God sent Addi to you to help in bringing you your Joy. Love to everyone.

  24. God kept you for the day that you received Addi into your life and home. He saved you for Addi as a parent and he saved Addi for you and her desperate need. God has great plans and sometimes we don’t see it until it almost knocks us over. In His great providence you were waiting in the “sidelines” . LaLa, never doubt the plan of God and how He worked it out. Psalm27:11…”Teach me how to live, O Lord. Lead me along the right path” Thank you my sister in Christ for sharing. My father was killed in a car accident…….trying to grieve at the funeral was so very difficult and moving on was harder yet. My husband died from kidney cancer not long ago and widowhood is a difficult place to be but thank God for 2 Wonderful sons who are believers in Christ. They are such good reminders for me of their Dad. What a legacy!

  25. What a beautiful testimony. I could feel every word you typed. I agree with Rhoda and think you should be a motivational speaker..

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